Life by the Spirit - Onward Christian Soldiers, Sure & Steadfast, Love, Joy & Hope in Christ

Here in your house, as a Christian I pray. I lay all my worries and hurts down. Family, the two remaining exams and the broken relationship. I'm distracted and distraught. For the relationship, God, didn't you grant us peace, when it was just the both of us with you? It was like Just yesterday in the church when she was praying about the death of her grandpa, I could feel much sorry in her heart and soul, but I couldn't move.. like, I wanted to hold her and hug her tight and say its okay because you, Lord, you're in control and you have your reasons... And here I am now, asking you why, like I know it's her because I've never felt so sure and God, u made things possible and always provided for us, idk but somehow she's all I was looking for all these years and hoped for, someone to share life with and be comfortable with together - weren't we comfortable with one another? Didn't she loved me, put me first, protected me, was I too easy that I became u...

Sara are you okay? I'm so worried for you. I ask God sometimes why he allow you to be tempted by Satan and sometimes all I get is you have to trust me. Sara, I really hope you are okay. Coz I don't know how to express my feelings for you anymore or to show you how I truly feel... But from my heart I want to do good and you know that all I want is to love and be loved as well as anyone else and also girl, your support meant a lot for me, even if it didn't meant anything to you anymore but it was to me. You're my world Sara, the only person I actually shared things with, only cos you're blessed and God loves you and so do I. You said you're moving back I hope you are really ok coz I worry for you everyday you are like this with the devil. I'm so afraid for you darling and I'm afraid of the devil working in you cos it took away the love of God from old Sara. I love you Sara, I really do, from the bottom of my heart; God is witness to this.

https://ideapod.com/when-someone-doesnt-want-to-talk-to-you-anymore/ I don't understand people who are like this. Especially when they do not know u  like how do they bear a grudge for so long? Especially Christians.. Just saying in general not about that Sara in the heading but I pray God will open her eyes to the truth cos I'm gonna fight this spiritual battle with prayers. God, just be closer to me, Jesus are u carrying me in the sand as the footsteps story? God if you don't fight for me in the things I do and in my life for you, then what's the point of my life cos all I do will be in vain. I wanna serve u and do so many things so God, please also put your divine protection and surround me with it. In Jesus name, amen.

Dear God I'm sorry. Sorry for listening and allowing evil. Sorry I got pissed with her attitude, I just needed her as before and also she said she had no motivation, I always motivated her in the past and gave her all the time, something no one else would and could ever do, time I didn't even have. Anyway if she wants to continue all we dreamt of and said she has to change. I'll do my things I have to doe u.. today wasted another 4 hours because of her.. it's depressing to know such a person who would go all out to harm u and do evil to u and tell lies and deceit about u when all u wanted to is a good relationship and communication and love, something she was before satan changed her.. she wanted a good relationship without cycles but why must she do it? May she be cursed to never remain and never get a family and be single cos God u saw all that happened and I claim your judgement upon her, I honestly didn't do anything to deserve this, esp when I gave her space. S...

God, where are you? God were you even with me yesterday in the exam? Did I get too complacent after picking the first topic? I didn't mean to, and if I did in anyway, I'm really sorry. God I need you, I really do. Why God, why things happen 😭  Did evil really came into me for all that happened with Sara? Like didn't I tell you if you don't help me there's no point? I cannot do anything w/o u, idw to do anything in vain. God, I really did not want to bring disgrace to your name, I really just wanted to give u joy and others too.. but now, idk. I want to honour u, well God thank you for hearing one opportunity, I will try that, please bless me for the extra time here so that I can honour u. Lastly, why has it been so hard to study nowadays? Like how God... Today I tried so hard to understand, ik i didn't really ask u but if I did as before would it be of any use? It seems I'm so slow you know Lord. God can u please help me with my life? Didn't the Bible p...

Dear blog, I'm so scared, I feel like I'm under spiritual attack, nothing has been going on lately.. it's as if satan managed to destroy all that is good and I feel so far from God. Please pray for me, I love God and wanna follow his ways and just want to be good, but satan keep saying I'm not good enough, it's lies cos I know I am as I belong to God.. God please be close to me, show me it isn't true cos I belong to u and I love you.. Also what happen to Sara, I feel I had no control over her 'cheating', honestly it was deception and lies, literally no different from cheating when idk I really took care of her for you God, cos I realised that I would like to be with her, only to have her be ungrateful and go with others when I'm real to her and idk did she really feel nothing cos she was blinded by satan? Idk God but I pray she'll know the truth that I simply love her and I need her cos she can help me with my sins and isn't that what marriag...

Dear blog, I'm crying.. Firstly my heart is so pain, and it's even more pain when I have to do things to get her attention. God where are u when evil is attacking me.. I'm sorry God, I will and I want to chose to be with you, like, even if she isn't with u i should still be with u but why do I feel so sad for her? Isn't true love suppose to be simple and not sad at all? Why do people make things so complex? I'm sorry God, maybe I blew all chances with her already but I wanna keep my promise to you and I need your help to let her go, let her go to you cos I know you'll take care of her for me and show her the way cos I cannot and I'm so sorry. Like I just want to be loved too 😭 wasn't that something she knows too? Like what did Satan even do to her to become like this? If there wasn't a third party this wouldn't have happened and she knows it too, she knows this time round is a rebound relationship that will never happen but why would she eve...

I'm sad because I cannot believe how much a person can change for a third party. Dear blog, I'm sad. Just wondering how can people treat relationships so fickle? People are important but why do they do that, to the very person they love? For me it hurts when I have to get attention but to them it's not at all to hurt me. Why blog? I do not deserve this. I have so much to do and I'm too depressed and distracted to do anything. God I'm afraid.. I'm afraid cos I need u, im afraid satan consumes me cos all the lies that I'm no good and everything... God I need u, i need u to fight for me, I need u to help me with my own life, situations but if anything should happen between us, I do not want to get affected as I have my own things to do and I wanna do it well for u. Sorry God. I'll focus now. It's sad cos I just wanted to be good but don't know why she must let evil come between us. I really wanna be good and she was a great helper till she turned. I...

God you know me that I will want to do my best for you.. Sorry satan always get me somehow. God why sometimes I ask. I do not do anything to deserve this may not be perfect that's why I need her and I'm sorry I fail u God. God I need your help this day, that I serve u only. Forgive me for putting her before u even today I'm so sorry God. I did what I could but you see everything, God U see my heart that I want to be good. So God I let u take control of this situation. Show Sara u love her im sorry God, sorry I did not bring her closer to you but I thank u for the opportunity to promise u I'll do good for her, and also that I show it all in actions and not just words. God I'm sorry for myself and forgive me for not putting u first.. please fight the war for me cos if I do it alone I always fail. Help me make full use of my time for u from now on. And yes God I promise to forgive her but as u said only if she's back with u and really wants to change. She didn'...