8/6

My darling princess, it pains me to think everyday about the current situation of us (really can't help it); sometimes I think like how can u forget all the good we had, is it like throwing it all away? How did u change so much just because someone online told you that you are already like a couple, when all you did with him was nothing compared to the real things we did; sure I wouldn't discount the fact that you did things with him on the romantic level, especially things which got you 'hooked', attached and his constant pushing and pulling created the fear of losing him, with constant pleading and reminders of romantic experiences you both had virtually, using it to push for a relationship; I may not know him as well as a person or at an individual level, but I know what I saw, anyone who sees it knows the 'trap', but you were blinded by lust that he created in you and made you crave for it.

I am sad cos unexpectedly you're the girl that I've been waiting for all these years, when I least expected it; God showed in the times we have. Ask me why when the time is right but you are and I know, unlike how you were confused and u agreed to the very things u told me you will never do again.

Sorry that I hurt you in BP, and yk I honestly didn't mean it, but how wouldn't I have confirmed my suspicions.. yes there were no 100% commitment but isn't that worse that one can 'cheat' w/o even being committed and lied... The lying is already like cheating w/o commitment, sad to say, not bad mouthing but it's really no better than casual sex like bully and all. Seems like I need to know u more in this aspect, how can u even laugh and all with me, show app attractive signs, your body and mind dont lie, and you spend the most time with me, so why my dearest girl? Is the lust that you crave for more important? How did he even steal you away from me? The 'expensive gf' that I bought lol. But you know and I know that we both want to live together, but then why not be together?! Why give someone who played with you feelings at the start, made u confused, stressed when pushing for the relationship?

I'm sorry and I apologise for the heartbreak that u caused me made us further away, guess u didn't thought it would cause so much heartbreak and think I would get over it, but it would never, cos you're the only one that I love and would be loyal to, we already did things and I told God that I'll be responsible for you, because I'm not the type of guy that goes for many girls, and you have to trust me on this. You are the love of my life, the one that I've been searching for all these years, the one who ticked all the boxes, the one that God showed, I can't leave you and I will never will, because love is greater and love perseveres even if I die earlier out of heartbreak, that's what true love really is my dearest darling girl, I only got you and if you open that blinded eyes of yours, you'll see that you truly only have me, cos I'm the guy that did the most for you at this point of your life, the first guy you met and you're the first girl that met and actually cared so much for and love, travelled so far and spent so much time and energy, are you really worth it as what u told me? Or will everything be thrown away just because of your infactuation for someone online that was well crafted by him to make u crave more of it (this really came at a bad time tbh, not even what u wanted actually - yes maybe I do not know u on this level but I really want to know, when if it hurts or what I do not expect cos to me that is a part of u and I fully accept it). But one thing I know is that you can't deny the fact that you love me, we both love one another and whatever we have is real and good, which cannot be replaced by anyone, just, I hope you are honest to me about things and open to share your inner life with me, cos I did it for you too.. if what I did is not good enough, idk what is my dearest girl. What's the point of spending so much time with me if I'm going to be left alone and left behind by you? Then u say you care, love me and do not want me to be sad, but you're happiness matter - girl, don't you trust me enough as you said before that you did, that I would ensure it and I would even give the whole world to you it I could?

I told you my dreams (which are also my fears), we want many same things and I hope that your blind eyes would be open to see the good God has in stall for you, you can trust me cos I would never leave you for another and if we can be together again, I hope that's the least you can do for me. 

Signing off,

I love you SP, honestly you killed me inside, with that haste decision, you may think that's best for u but I was always here from you and yk that, I always kept and controlled myself as much as I can when I'm with u, not because i cant love u more but i love u too much to care if u are comfortable around me and im so sorry I'm not good enough in this aspect of romantic love. I'm no better than being alive when u made this decision to kill my heart, hopefully I'm still alive if your decision changes later, cos I wanna build dreams and all with you, and grow with u personally and at a deeper level, coz we're both Scorpios and we love deep and are passionate (trust me on this and get to know me more), I do still want to obey the Bible amd God tho, and if you wanna draw close to him, you won't wrong being with me.