Dear God, why is my life so hard? aren't I a good person? as in I always try my best to help others in my own way... God why is it the girl that loved me, why did her heart get stolen? like why did that even happen when u put us together? why did u allow it? ik all things good come from you but why do you also allow bad things to happen

She said, 'i appreciate you too but sometime you do too much fr'..

Cos when u love people, you do things for them.

I mean I do love ppl in general but some ppl just cannot, like e.g. difficult ppl.

That's what I learnt, u can't just care and love ppl, many ppl are driven by their own selfishness and many ppl don't really care about others, mostly it is just for themselves.

But I really just wanted to make your life better and make you happy and feel loved, and always to be there for you... Idk until things happened beyond my control. You understand right? Like u even forgot our dates and all. I don't blame you cos if I were you as I said I probably would get sucked in too.. esp when there are so many emotions involved starting from sympathy and all. I honestly don't blame you and ik how you feel in all this, I really do. The question is don't be really love you or he just loved the list for you, because if he really did it wouldn't be just that but he would have done other things for you and would still be right here with you, not after he gotten what he wanted from you.

Also, after years being alone and when you found the one, and she is all you were looking for, the one God put in your life after all these years, how can you not love her more than others and spf love. How can she ever understand me? Probably no one will, not even her, esp when someone stole her heart right in front of my eyes.

Dear God, what do you want in all of this? What is your plan actually? For now can I just focus on the studies? Can you please help me with it? Can you forgive me and help me through all? I really need your help yk, I have no money, anything.. if anything God please listen to the prayers that we prayed together with uncle Ion Thian when he sent me off here. If it is my sin in anyway I want to claim the blood of Jesus in my life, from now on, God I want to do my best for you, can I just ask for your help to finish this semester well?

I don't want to waste time, I need to spend time with my loved ones back in Singapore, I would like to ask for grace, oh God, please give me the grace and your favour once again.

I do not want to be the troublemaker, I never was but I don't know also.. I somehow always end up with unnecessary trouble with cold harsh ruthless people. Why God why.

God gonna study now, I claim your forgiveness and strength to do all I need to do.

I want to do it for you God, in your mercy hear my prayers, if not hear the prayers for all the people praying for me and popo, but I want to have your favour again cos I love you and I want to serve you.

I want to honour you and honour my parents, please help me to finish this year.. I promise the time I save I'll do your work full time, that's what I wanna do for you God. Please protect me from any evil forces. Protect Sara too, but fill her with your love and care on my behalf and also just because you love her and she loves you. Please forgive her and draw her close to you, that she'll really know who you are cos that was what she wanted before this whole drama.

God ik you love Sora too, idk but hope he'll know you as well. God forgive me if I'm selfish in anyway, I'm sorry I didn't know love was so hard, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I'm a part of all that happened. I wish it didn't have to be but God I give the control to you and I ask you that you know what's best for me and Sara, most importantly keep her safe, loved and rooted in you because that's all she needs. But whatever it is in this case, I give it to you to your will. God I do want to get married and all, but God I'm taking a step back in this because only you can tell your belovered Sara who really loves her and who is best for her.

Lastly God I'm sorry for wasting time and all with her help me to love cos you do and not for my own, I do love her Lord God