The point of no return

 Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn… wished I can be as cool as that.

So, she did it again, and enough is enough; really did me in this time. Don’t understand why people can cheat and I never would.

Got to start doing work now, I will try my best. God, if u hear my cries, if you are the God that I had childlike faith in, don’t forget me. Help me with my life and current situation, and in my studies too. Idk what’s wrong with me, I try so hard but always things don’t work out, in every thing and the person that supposedly understands and knows and loves me the most cheated on me, bae forever and you’re always first… but she lied time and time again. Also, God, why am I not successful or bearing fruits no matter how hard to try or work. My dream when young was to earn lots of money for my parents and buy a bmw for dad, childish dreams lol but all I wanted was just to earn enough to pay for family things and get my parents debt free and retire them, which didn’t prove successful and idk if I’ll be able to do it for them at all now because of a huge sum. Invest your money, they said, but instead I lost so much money, my parents money… I couldn’t even pay back for studies and many people cheated me, like how can people do all these? Why can’t ppl be nice and good to one another? Anyway I wished my life was better like Jeremy, there’s just so much I wanna do but it’s just dreams, sometimes I don’t even know if I’m blessed as a Christian or is it just my mind fooling me that it is. Jeremy cos he has almost everything any person could wish for and he even has the kind of house he wanted, he works hard but life seems to play out well for him with a good job from the start and a supportive and Christian wife. Is it really too much to ask for?

God idk, can I still see a future and hope in you? I don’t want to waste time and I’m sorry for not getting my focus right sometimes, I want to be loved as well and have all the things that people have too, I do want my own family and children and I’m happy both of my sisters found theirs, hopefully my brother too if that’s what what he really wants. Idk I try hard and all, I really do Lord.

Thanks for hearing me out bloggie ♥️