people who are blinded by love will never know who truely loves them

God. I Need you.

Sorry for being so distracted with the girl. I didn't mean it.. sorry for making her and obsession when you should be the first in my life.

God I didn't mean it, to do it or what.. it's just that I've so alone all these years, and to have someone to accept me, someone who is Christian and could be the mother of my kids, it's so rare... But why God, if you allow us to happen, why must there be a distraction and a third party who fulfilled her needs somehow? Why will I never be good enough, she accepted me for who I am only to release me for another who I literally saw him using manipulative tactics to get her to fall in love with him. She changed so much just because of him it saddens me.

Why I'm unwilling to give up is because she can accept me and she checked all the ticks and is your child, not perfect but I could sense it and God, didn't u put her in my life to love her?

God what have I done, I didn't want to sin anymore, all I need is one girl, that is all I need and I want to take the responsibility to love her, isn't it enough... Why must there always be a third party and I am the 'loser'? Would it have been better to not be a Christian or follow and have discipline so as not to suffer being friendzoned? How can I lose my bae? How can I not do things? In sad lord.

Lord I need to focus, please help me to finish what I need to do. Pls help me this sem.. why is it all my life is so bad?! Why can't I keep someone with me who will really love me with all her heart?!

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